Vacation Fun

Our first ever Stream family vacation was in Orlando, Florida. Joshua was 5 and Sarah was 2. We felt brave enough to tackle the flight and the layovers and so far so good. We didn't even feel like the Griswolds...yet. We had spent a day at Daytona Beach, enjoying the surf, the sun and the sand. Well, I was not enjoying the sand as I could not get it out of Sarah's pull-up to save my life.
We were heading back "home" and enjoying the drive. It was rush hour but we had snacks and each other! It was bumper to bumper traffic and I hadn't seen an off ramp for quite awhile. Joshua broke the silence with this...(You know what's coming don't you?) "I have to go potty." "Well, gee son, you're gonna have to hold it!!" So, he held it for another 9 seconds. The traffic wasn't going anywhere and since we were aliens in a foreign land we didn't know when we could exit the freeway!"Mommy, I have to go really baaaadddd!" Desperate times call for desperate measures. I reached under my seat for an empty Coke bottle and handed it to Joshua. Sarah wasn't even speaking at this point in her kid career.....what a blessing. She was staring though. It took some coaxing but Joshua stepped up to the task set before him. He handed me his specimen, I capped it and put it under the seat. Patrick had been strangely silent the whole time. Was that wrong? Was that bad? Was I an unfit Mommy?
Joshua has never been at a loss for words and this was no exception. After a few miles he said, "That was so cool!! Can I do that again??"

Hang Time

Sarah has always enjoyed playing good guys and bad guys with her big bro. She was the one being carted off to jail with her hands tied in a jumprope every time they played. She moved on to having her stuffed animals be the bad guys and I was to tie up their front paws and she would sentence them to jail. Then she asked if I could tie up all four paws cause they were so "bad". After tying so many paws up during the course of a day I wondered if I could someday grow up to be a real wrangler and I liked to time myself and hoot and holler as I could usually beat 7 seconds. WHOOOO HOOOO GIT ALONG LITTLE DAWGIES!! Sarah's addiction to this game really took a turn when she needed me to tie up her dollie's hands. We were graduating to the hard stuff. I obliged her. I started feeling a little uncomfortable tying her dolls hands and feet however but yes, I will help you my dear. Run along and have fun! Not long after she asked if I would tie her doll around the hands and the neck and I did. What was I thinking? I started finding dolls hung from many of the doorknobs in the house and Daddy would hang some from the cupboard drawer pulls when he got home. I sat down, took a breather and looked around. I realized it looked like a freaky kind of gallows. Being 13 weeks pregnant at the time, I became disgusted at how far this game had gone......Sarah needed help. I thought of putting her in some kind of 12 step group. "Hi, my name is Sarah and I hang my dollies." "Hi, Sarah."
I put a stop to it. I had lynched my last doll. The game was over, the jig was up.
When I asked her what was the purpose of all of this madness she said, "I only wanted to swing em."
I can only shake my head once again. But my head shaking I think is really a nervous tic that is mandatory for a stay at home mom. If you don't have your tic yet, don't worry, its on the way.

Meet the Pastor

A couple of years ago after a Saturday night worship service at our church, Patrick and I decided to have a chat with our Pastor. Just a friendly hello, nothing too deep. Joshua was about 6 and Her Royal Sarahness was 3. We walked to the front of the church and Pastor Gregg greeted us warmly. In my mind I envisioned that Joshua would shake his pastors hand and speak politely and Sarah Beara would curtsey of course. I was dumbfounded while watching this scene unfold before my eyes...
Pastor Gregg: "Hey, Josh hows it goin?"
Josh: "Hey, wanna smell my breath?"
Pastor Gregg: "Sure"(bless his heart)
Josh: HHHHAAAAAHHHHHH
Pastor Gregg: "Thats nice, what is it?"
Josh: "Juicy Fruit"
Sarah hopped by with her paws under her neck and looked at Pastor Gregg and said "I'm a bunny." She continued on a few steps and then said, "Oops, I tooted." She giggled and hopped away for more bunny fun.
The sound of silence...
I then said, "WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE THESE KIDS' PARENTS???!!!"

Fashion Sense

Sarah Beara had a playdate today so she decided to get dolled up for it. Picture this if you will...bright yellow Old Navy t-shirt, red sweater, pink shorts, navy socks pulled up to her knees and yellow rain boots. A vision of loveliness, I know!! I used to be somewhat mortified at her outfits but I see the other 4 year old girls in Wal-mart. Their moms always give me that knowing smile.
I called to Sarah a couple of weeks ago that we needed to pick up Joshua from summer school. She dashed to her room and began primping. Picture this if you will....red Christmas dress covered in sequins and lace, red tights and red Dorothy shoes. Oh, and don't forget to bring a sweater because it's a chilly 98 degrees!!! (The sweater was pink with blue cats all over it.)
Maybe my daughter could help me spruce up my maternity wardrobe... but would I be so brave??

It's Elementary

I am a homeschooling mom. I have homeschooled Joshua from Kindygarten through 2nd grade. One of the reasons I started is because I wasn't ready to have him "out there." I also didn't think he was ready either. I happen to believe that they would have stamped ADHD on his forehead the minute he set foot in public school!(well not ADHD but maybe ADD, LD, ODD, LMNOP) I also have a teaching degree which I thought might come in handy too. Kindergarten was great! Joshua could stay focused for 25 minutes max so Mommy had to slip in the basics FAST, man! Sarah managed to keep herself occupied as well. Our little school was called Underpants Elementary. When Joshua was about 15 months old he unzipped his feetie pajamas one night, threw them overboard and never looked back. The boy wore underpants in the house all year round! Yes, he wore just underpants to school. How fun is that?? In first grade I really laid down the law though and he couldn't come to school until he had his shorts on. He was truant a lot that year but at least we were able to change the school name to Stream Elementary. 2nd grade started out fairly well I thought. Sarah would work on her little school books, Nathan would take his morning nap and Joshua and I cranked away for 2 hours. Something changed- no SNAPPED after our Christmas break. Nathan dropped his morning nap and now what? I held him and tried to entertain him while dealing with the other 2. That lasted maybe 15 minutes. Playpen time was instituted shortly thereafter. Around our house it is affectionately known as Screamin in the Pen Time. Nathan screamed and cried for a solid hour! I managed to hold off not putting him in until Joshua was done with all his independent stuff. Picture it people......Nathan crying LOUDLY, Sarah done with her work wanting to get on the computer, play games, take a bath, have a snack or any number of busy girly things she was into, Joshua trying to concentrate!! WELCOME TO FIASCO ELEMENTARY! wow I became pregnant in March and April's schooling is a blur as I was sleeping 12 hours a night, napping 3 hours a day and yawning through school. It was moved to the living room. School, a movie, lunch, and play in the living room....hence the name of the room I guess. Daddy asked Sarah one day,"Sarah, what did you do today?" She said,"We stayed in the living room ALL DAY!!"
I looked at my husband and asked(I mean whimpered) what needs to change? What needs to happen? He said the 2 words that I will be forever grateful to him for.......PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!

Speak, boy!!

Since Nathan (affectionately called Nathers or Nafer Nafe) is up 2 hours earlier than he should be from his afternoon nap I will type about him. He is 20 months old and his favorite pasttimes are smacking the cat, arching his back when being placed in his carseat and seizing every opportunity to throw his sandles in the toilet.
I spend a majority of the day following him as he goes walking about the house. I am using the term walking rather loosely here. He is flat-footed, pigeon toed and bowl-legged so he basically stumbles around here like a drunken sailor mumbling and babbling to himself sounding like the Swedish chef from The Muppet Show. We hold lively conversations that go something like this:
Nathan: herndagerndafernda
Mommy: Really? Then what happened?
Nathan: irffengirffenmirffen
Mommy: Wow! Thats exciting! Tell me more!
Nathan: herndagerndafernda
Mommy: Yes, you mentioned that already.
Thank goodness he knows the signs for more, please, thank you and book. My husband keeps wondering when he is going to speak, you know, like something that resembles English!! But when he sticks his tongue out and pants I say, "See honey, he just said dog!!"
No really, he says real words.....uh-oh and wow. I think those 2 words will come in handy in highschool as he stumbles from class to class.

Camptales

My son is back from his week at camp!! Well, I figured it was him but after an hour long soak in the tub I am sure.
We have been pumping him for information and asking all of those appropriate open-ended questions. How was swimming? Who did you meet? What did you learn about God? What did you make in crafts? Enquiring minds want to know!! Joshua did oblige on almost every question and then began telling camptales. His stories became more and more outlandish and we finally just asked.. Did you ride the jet-ski? Go para-sailing? Deep sea diving? Drive the speedboat? Become a lifeguard? He answered yes to all of the above. His REAL camp experience remains somewhat of a mystery except for what made it home in his bag. Yes, I dived in this morning. We are missing quite a few shirts, pairs of underpants, shorts and socks. (Also, there is not a craft to be found.) But he did gain a complete outfit that I know I did not pack for him. I apologize to whoever is washing Joshua's clothes right now. He did admit to me he did not brush his teeth all week but did manage to change into someone else's underpants. I didn't even bother to ask if he showered. I found the moldy swimsuit and towel so there was water involved at some point.
All of the above is a small price to pay for the reunion at camp after not being together for a week!! Joshua and I have a "thing" we do. When we haven't seen each other for a stretch we run as fast as we can with arms open wide and I pick him up and swing him around. There is nothing sweeter than a boy who STILL lets his mom love him up!!

Lord, thank you for all of the experiences that make a boy into a man. Thank you for allowing me to witness it.

A Sob Story

Last week I was having a scrumptious lunch of PB & J sandwiches with the children. Joshua was talking about how great it will be to see the 3 babies that we have in heaven. He loves to imagine that Great Grandma Nora, Mister Rogers and Jesus are always rocking them to sleep. We talked a little more about what it might be like to die and go to heaven when my daughter Sarah started sobbing. I started saying that we don't have to worry about dying right now and we won't die for a long time etc. The sobbing did not let up. I took her little face in my hands and asked her why she was crying. She managed to sob, "I don't wanna hang on a cross!"
Ouch. My heart ached. To imagine what her little brain was doing while in church and hearing about Jesus hanging on a cross for us.
She still brings it up and wants to know FOR SURE that they don't do that to people anymore.
I sometimes wish that the hardest thing we had to do as parents was make PB & J sandwiches.

Hugs in Hell

My daughter Sarah will be 5 in a couple of weeks and just when I think I have her all figured out she leaves me stumped!!
While we were saying prayers one night before bed she asked if I would pray that she would get hugs in hell. I asked her to repeat herself as I know I couldn't have heard right!! She said that she knows that when she gets to hell that there are no hugs there, so could I just please pray that she get some hugs in hell?? Before I could dial Exorcist 911 I yelled NO!!! We would NOT pray that she gets hugs in hell because no daughter of mine will be going to hell!! We finished up with some lame prayer and once again I left her bedroom shaking my head.
Now I happen to think that Hugs in Hell would be the perfect name for some heavy metal rock band. "And here's the band Hugs in Hell...singing their number one hit tune Just go to Sleep, Sarah!!" (The crowd goes wild.)

This mom gig is harder than I thought it would be!!!!

Hey

Helloooooooooooooooooo...
Is anyone out there?
I have finally caved in to the pressure from my blogging husband, Pat and now I are one too. A blogger. Lovely.
Lets see.......Four by 40. I will explain that. I have always wanted 4 children......even when I was a child. I was unaware just how difficult it can sometimes be to produce offspring. Was on fertility, grieved through 2 miscarriages and finally have Joshua, Sarah and Nathan. All perfect. All angels. Of course. I am now 15 weeks pregnant and am 39 years old and holding. Thus the name of the blog.
Here is a gem from the trenches.
I was in the bathroom(ALONE! Can you believe it??!!) and doing none of your business and walked out to find a tinfoil carpet all laid out before me and Nathan(age 20 months) smiling proudly. I was impressed with his imagination and adored his curiosity even more. OK. I really was annoyed and wondered if I could fit yards and yards of this stuff back in the box.
The answer I came up with was no. If you have ever been in my situation you would know that rerolling tinfoil is not for the faint of heart. It takes great patience(of which I have none) and perseverance(less than none) and the stuff winds up to be ten times bigger than when you bought it!!!
Wow time flies when you blog and Nanny 911 is coming on!! I simply must watch as it makes me feel that much better about the fruit of my loins.
Stay tuned........