Friday, February 27, 2015

Stomachface

This is the face my stomach makes after having four children.




Friday, February 20, 2015

Thursday Morning in the Trenches

The temp -14.  My 17 year old son Joshua ran back into the house barefoot.  He had just been starting his car to warm it up.  Barefoot.

Tim couldn't find his story The Bunny. I was sure that I recycled it so I went outside. Temp was still -14. I dumped the whole bin into the driveway.  Sorted through cardboard, empty water bottles, cereal boxes and didn't find The Bunny.  Came in to see it on the phone stand.

Tim zipped up his winter coat.  The zipper broke.  I scrambled to MAKE IT WORK but had to grab the back up winter coat.  That zipper broke too.  Get in the car! He went to school with a busted zipper coat.

I came home to sit on the couch and cry.  I wanted to start the day over.  I wanted peace and calm and joy.  Instead I found rest. And in that rest was peace and calm and joy. Thank you Lord.

PS
Walmart had $35 boys winter coats on sale for $8! Score!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

2014 Christmas Form Letter


I just did this. I just wrote one of these.  I swear I did. Well I try not to swear but sometimes I let one slip.

So it is time for the Stream Form Letter of Christmas Sarcasm.

In the year of our Lord 2014 the time is upon us once again to tell you how perfect and wonderful and beautiful we are.

Patrick is busy.  Being daddy, Biblical Counseling and elder apprenticing.  Wow.  I find him shaking his head a lot when doing the daddy thing.  Could be the kids. Nahhhhh.  They are perfect. The kettlebells are swinging every morning for Mr. Stream. We celebrated 20 years of marriage this year and 24 years of friendship. Beautiful.

Carla is trying to get a grip on her health.  She had quite a summer. Hypothyroidism, adrenal fatigue and severe anemia. Oh my!  She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes though so LOOK OUT! Carla counsels with her husband, tries to keep up with kidlets, is a substitute teacher and election official.  She shot her first gun last week! BAM!  Oh and roars her terrible roar against abortion. She wonders what she will be when she grows up. Wonderful.

Joshua. Oh boy. That boy. 17. A junior.  He is still washing dishes at Mama Maria's. His work clothes smell so bad mom usually throws them outside. He has a license and a car. There's your warning.  You're welcome. He will be going on a mission trip to Haiti in June. Mom stayed in denial until the VISA arrived! My baby! As eldest he still enjoys torturing the youngers. Perfect.

Sarah is a freshman.  The girl LOVES school.  Always has. She goes to school with young men that have beards.  Crazy. Sarah has been called quite a lot to babysit.  I have instructed her to CLEAN THEIR HOUSES! Even though I have to beg her to CLEAN HER ROOM the parents appreciate it very much.  We will not mention the boys that have asked her out. Perfect.

Nathan grew 4 inches over the summer.  Dude. Last year of elementary school. Loving Roblox and Jesus. He lost his beloved pet gerbil Ricky last month.  Tough stuff. The wrestling between Natedog and his brother Tim is NONSTOP.  Mommy knows boys will be boys but "he sat on my head, he licked my tongue, he slapped my butt, he farted in my face" gets old. Wonderful.

Tim. I should just leave it at that. When Tim turned 3 I lamented to a friend, "I am not going to make it with this kid!" So I have made it 6 years longer than I thought I would.  Tim Nonstop Stream. He lost his beloved pet gerbil Nibbles months ago.  Both gerbils are still in the freezer awaiting burial arrangements.  Tim can usually be found opening the freezer door and saying, "Bye Nibbles. I love you. I gotta go to school now." Beautiful.

Griffen the cat is 15. That seems old but I have been assured that cats live to be 1,000. So he's really just a kitten. Wonderful.


Just to reiterate.  Perfect. Wonderful. Beautiful.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


The Ghost of Christmas Sarcasm Past Form Letters
2013
2012
2011
2010




Saturday, December 20, 2014

You Can Quote Me

You know that feeling you have when you can't find one of your toddlers? The toddler that you are carrying on your hip? 
I pretty much feel like that all the time.
-Carla Stream

Friday, December 19, 2014

Shooting

I have wanted to shoot a gun for a long time. I have wanted my own gun to conceal and carry for a long time too.  Today I shot two different guns!! A small black one and then a larger black one.  Oh they have fancy names and numbers I'm sure.  But that is neither here nor there to me.


My thoughts on the shoot.


1.  When we got there I didn't want to leave the car. For real.

2.  I could have concentrated better if there weren't so many loud and bigger guns shooting.

3.  My brain said loudly YOU ARE HOLDING A LOADED GUN!!! about a thousand times.

4.  BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!!!

5.  I broke a nail.

6.  I think I killed the paper target man.  I know I did.

7.  My husband thinks I am hilarious. Even when armed.

8.  I closed my eyes sometimes because I wasn't really sure where the bullets were going anyway.

9.  The ear and eyewear was not the least bit flattering.  Red headphones and yellow glasses?

10. When I wasn't shooting I tidied up the place.  Let's sweep up the casings shall we?

11.  I love watching my husband shoot! My armed protector warrior husband!

12.  Patrick is the best teacher in the world.

13.  I tried to be teachable.

14.  I am saving my allowance for a gun!

15.  I can't wait to shoot again!

16.  I shot a gun!!

Tuesday, December 09, 2014

Strong Willed Sarah Stream

My girl.  She is something.

Once when she was heading out the door to walk to school as a 1st grader Joshua got ahead of her. She threw a fit and would not leave the yard.  I told her to get walking or she would be late.  Nothing doing.  I went inside and considered giving her a ride.  But I didn't.  I listened to her scream and yell and pound on the window and the door.  I cried.  I prayed.  I wanted her to make the right choice.And finally she did. She moved those feet out of our yard.  She walked to school.  I called her in strong willed.  Not sick.  Strong willed. I explained that my daughter would be late but she would be there. 

On Monday Sarah was under the weather.  Blehhhhhh.  Too sick for school.  I called her in sick.  And she cried. She cried and cried because she didn't want to miss the Science test and then have to make up tons of homework.  She wanted to go to school so badly and I wouldn't let her.

I flashed back from 9th grade to 1st.
And how my SW Sarah has grown.

Monday, November 03, 2014

The Change

No, not THAT change.  Gross.

Our family dynamic is changing.  It began with our oldest, Joshua getting a job and a license and a car.  And our daughter, Sarah heading to high school and football games and babysitting jobs.  It is a rare event when we all sit down together for dinner and I am struggling with it.  This is hard.  I am happy for them as they embrace their lives and continue toward independence but I miss them.  I miss The Bigs.
Case in point.  Sarah was going to a friend's party on Halloween.  Not trick or treating like last year. WHAT?! WHY?! I got all choked up and as she walked out the door she said, "Mom I'm not going off to college."  You might as well be, missy!
We now seem to be hanging with the youngers.  The Littles(I am not allowed to call them that anymore out loud)dressed up and went out trick or treating and lasted about an hour.  Not impressed, no big deal, whatevs.
I am looking ahead and see nights with four of us.  Patrick and I and two boys. Still fun.  Just different.
And I will embrace the change.  I will accept the change.  Not with quiet grace and humility mind you.  But chasing Josh's car down the street and yelling, "You forgot to kiss and hug your mother goodbye! Get back here! You need your sweatshirt! Drive safely! Have a good night at work! I love you! Hurry back!"

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Robin


MY TWO CENTS ABOUT ROBIN WILLIAMS
I miss Robin. The way I miss John Candy and Mr. Rogers. My heart aches. I miss his sweet face, his crazy voices and his physical humor.
Robin introduced me to Mork. I wanted to marry Mork. I had the rainbow suspenders, which I thought were enough to become his wife. I figured we could laugh together all the rest of our days. And then Mindy stole him from me.
My favorite movies of Robin's are Mrs. Doubtfire and Jack. He made me laugh when I was in a lot of pain. I grew up with Robin.
I will not speculate on whether Robin is in heaven. That is not for me to know and I am good with that. I cannot say that he is in a better place or that he is free. Only God knows. I will trust Him. Robin faced judgment before our Righteous King just as we all will. I was not there. Nor was I there in Robin's last moments. I do not know what he was thinking or feeling. God does. I will trust Him.
I do not pray for Robin or anyone else who has passed away. I pray for his family and friends and for those of us who are left that are trying to make some sense of it. To make meaning and share our sadness.
Robin had a God given gift of bringing joy to others. He made us laugh and cry and I am grateful to God that Robin lived. That God made him. That I had that chance to love him and his talent. I will grieve his passing.
PS One does not have to struggle with depression or suicidal thoughts and attempts to have an opinion.(I have)But we are free to express our thoughts and our opinions even if we disagree. But the hatred? Please.Stop.

Thursday, August 07, 2014

Happy Birthday!!

My Sarah Beara is 14 years old today!!  You are such a joy and a blessing to this family and I simply adore you sweet girl!!!  I love you!!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Celebrating!



Happy 20th Anniversary to us!!

I met Patrick on August 2nd, 1990.  24 years of friendship.  20 years of marriage.  We are blessed.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

As If

When Joshua and I are out in public together I usually say the same thing to him.  "I wonder if anyone thinks we are boyfriend and girlfriend???"   I find it hysterical. He does not.

The dental assistant yesterday questioned him along those same lines.
da "So are you married?"
Josh "I'm 17 years old!!"
da "Well who is that woman you are with?"
Josh "That's my MOM!!"

I am sorry Josh but you are young and so am I.



Friday, July 18, 2014

So Not Cool

I usually am so distracted with my children that I nod or mumble or say yes to things that deserved a no. FOCUS CARLA!  In the van there was a lively discussion about a movie. I tuned most of it out until I heard a question.
Tim  "Mom what was the name of that thing in that movie? He was so big and had a jiggly chin.  Remember?"
Mom "Um.  Jabba the Hutt."
Tim "What??  NO! Not Star Wars!"
Nathan "Not Star Wars Mom! The Hobbit!"
Mom "Yeah it was Jabba the Hutt."

I used to be a cool mom.  I knew the cool things and spoke the cool language and knew the names of jiggly chinned movie characters.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Homework

Yes Timothy has homework in the summer.  Not a lot but enough to create a ruckus. I lay out all of the ugliness in the morning, in the form of worksheets, vocab cards, and math workbooks.   There it is.  No turning back.  Yesterday the boy pitched a Tim sized fit. I try to ignore as much as I can but it becomes hard to ignore.  It started with quiet complaining, moved to yelling and stomping and then crying.  He was sent to his room to gather himself.  By the time he came out there was muttering.  Quiet, simple phrases for my ears only.  "I can't believe I have to do this.  Who does this? Why do I have to  do this? Nobody else does this! What kind of a life is this???"

I was having those same thoughts myself.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Singin

Tim is musical. No doubt about it.  He makes up lyrics and breaks into dance moves and beats a rhythm with his drum sticks. There are two songs he has sung around the house.  I can't decide which is my favorite.

I've got two chickens to paradise! Won't you pack your eggs and we'll leave tonight!

It's the eye of the chicken it's the will of the fight rising up to the something of our chicken!

Both catchy and creative with the word chicken.  Tough call.

Not a Problem

My daughter Sarah is at a friends house. She has a softball game tonight. I just received this text from her

my gear is in my closet and my black sliding shorts are somewhere in there too my glove is in the garage and my bag is in the car my socks have to be with my shoes or somewhere in my room my red water bottle is by the sink tshirt is in my closet and i will just wear the shorts i'm wearing now Also the headband on my dresser Don't forget my glove

Friday, June 13, 2014

Making Out

Tim has flown this year as an emergent reader and is now into chapter books! He received a book yesterday for his last day of school and started reading in the car.  He came upon a sentence and wasn't sure of the meaning.
Tim "What does "make out" mean?
Mom  "What?"  Makes alarmed eye contact with Daddy.
Tim "Make out.  What does make out mean?"
Mom "Could you read the sentence please?"
Tim "I wonder if I should make out a will before I leave."
Mom "Make out means to write something down."
Tim "What else does it mean?"
Mom "When I kiss Daddy."
Tim "Gross."

Monday, June 09, 2014

Daddy

I watch my daughter and am amazed at how different her life is from mine at her age.  Thank you Lord that she is not drinking like a fish and contemplating suicide like I was back then.
Mom "Sarah what is it like to have a daddy that truly loves you, cares for you, hugs you, protects you and is so very proud of you??"
Sarah "It's nice.  It's really nice."

Thursday, June 05, 2014

Translator

Among the myriad of things I do I try to translate for my children.  Their utterings and mutterings are at times hard to decipher but we soldier on.
Tim had a field trip to get ready for today.  He needed a packed lunch and we were discussing what would go into that brown paper bag.
Tim "Mom I want those brown things with the white stuff in them."
Mom "Swiss Cake Rolls?"
Tim "YES! I also want those meaty long things."
Mom "Beef sticks?"
Tim "YES! And the white ones that I put in the microwave."
Mom "String Cheese?"
Tim "YES! And those orange things."
Mom "Cheetos?"
Time "YES!"

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Peacemaker

I sing a lot in the mornings.  As I buzz about getting Streamers ready I sing.  And then I hear my youngest boys sing too and it makes my heart swell.
Tim came home yesterday and told me he broke up a fight.  I asked about that and he told me that two kids were fighting and he got between them and sang, "And all the people send amen whooaaahhhh, and all the people said amen!!"  He said that the two kids stopped and stared at him and he walked away.

I would love to think that story is true.  Tim likes to embellish but I do think his heart is in the right place on the playground.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my mom.   I am going to guesstimate that she is between 68-70 years old.  I am not sure. I have not seen or spoken to her in 13 years.

But today I will celebrate her.  I will think on things that she taught me and try to remember the good times.  I will pray for her and speak well of her.  I will choose joy when I think of her.

Lord,
I ask that You hold my mom close today.  Please draw her near to You.  I pray that her heart come to know You and that You whisper truth in her ear.  I pray for a day of happiness and that she laugh and smile and be moved to someday reconcile.  I ask that You keep her healthy and that you strengthen her marriage. I ask that my dad and my sisters make this a special day for her. Thank you for my mom Lord.  Thank you that she was the perfect mom for me.    Amen