Amusing Ourselves

Patrick and I are in training to be Biblical Counselors. We are attending three weekend conferences and had one this past weekend. I get tired. I lose focus. I get fussy. My husband and I tried to keep things light while learning.

One of the speakers had a way of lecturing that involved the audience. He lectured with an oral fill in the blank so to speak. 500 people in attendance shouting out answers to finish his sentences. Very difficult for me to track but I decided to find my own words. "That would be called a_______. You might notice a______. That is when you would_____. There might be_______ to _______." Dog, sunrise, sprint, chocolate, eat.

I sat in front of someone who kicked my chair for two hours. I no longer bother to say anything to people that do that. It never goes well. They always seem to get offended that I don't enjoy their constant kicking me in the back. Plus Patrick likes it when I don't raise a ruckus. So I endured and then switched seats with him.

Saturday morning we got there early and Patrick waited for me outside the car while I gathered my things. A woman parked next to us and got out. Her driver's side door stayed ajar. I was trapped. Like a rat. She retrieved her books, keys and purse and then moved to the back seat.(Did she bring her dog??)I looked through the windshield and gave Patrick my "You have got to be kidding me" look. He had to turn away as he was laughing too hard. I remained calm, put my seat and tray in the upright position and noticed the unbuckle my seat belt sign. This woman in her own universe, retrieved her snack cooler, shut and locked both doors and made her way to the entrance. I don't think she even noticed another human being in such close proximity. Why I didn't roll down my window and make small talk I do not know.

In talking weight loss with the man during one of the breaks I thought of a really good name for my imaginary product. Poop a Pound. Say it super fast. Yeah. I know.