Sunday, January 09, 2011

Return

I am technologically challenged. I live with it. I try to overcome my fear of technology although I do think it hates me and is out to get me. stupidtechnology
I had to return a movie to the DVD kiosk box thing. I am sure it has some technological name but I don't care. I tried shoving the DVD back into the slot. Shove, shove, shove. It ain't going. So I am sure it needs a little more gentle pressure. Jam, jam, jam. No, no, no.
I then considered the following action items-

1. Tape the movie to the screen.
2. Throw the movie on top of the box.
3. Slide the movie under the box.
4. Throw the movie at the screen in hopes the screen takes it from me.
5. Slide my card into the slot so the box can call me when it needs the movie.
6. Run outside to the car and shove and jam the movie at my husband.
7. Ask for assistance.

I went with number 7 and now I know that one need only tap the screen to RETURN a movie to the movie kiosk box thing! Technology is so amazing.

11 comments:

Vannah R. said...

Aside from being complicated, technology has unattractive names: iPad is just not as pretty a term as "cellar door."

But if you really want cool technology, then join me and my fellow steampunks. We have prettier, simpler technology. And our technology has prettier names. :D

kristi noser said...

the first time I tried to return a RED movie, I kept putting it in backwards, wondering why the machine was so stupid as to not take it back.
stupidtechnology.

Carla said...

Mine wasn't a RED movie from a RED box.
stupidbox

Henrietta G. Tavish said...

The kiosk rejected the DVD because you failed to rewind it. It's programmed that way. How would you like to rent a movie and have the ending spoiled because someone ejected it at the spot where the moon frees Gru's daugthers from Vector's ship? Despicable YOU.

Carla said...

Is there a rewind button for a DVD?Where might that be located, Henrietta?

Henrietta G. Tavish said...

There's no button. You have to manually rewind it by spinning it backwards on the tip of your nose. Don't do it in the house where the DVD player is located because it emits negative ions which will reverse the rotation. Best to do it in the frozen food section of a supermarket where all such interference is neutralized by freezer radiation. Whistling while spinning generally speeds the process because of the phenomenon of sympathetic vibration. You'll see plenty of people doing this, especially the ones walking out of the aisle with frozen pizza boxes which they use for DVD storage.

Carla said...

Thank you so much!!

erin said...

Oh, I love technology. Not as much as you, you see...

Brenda said...

Okay, Henrietta G. Tavish. I don't know you, you don't know me, but you are now my new favorite person! :-)

Henrietta G. Tavish said...

Brenda, I am primarily here to help Carla with her various difficulties. I like doing so because it's hard to find someone wise enough to follow my advice, which she always does to the letter.

I sense that you share her good judgment and that I could help you with things too. For example, statistics show that credit card numbers may be broken. Often the numbers get out of order when the cards are jostling around in your purse. I am a specialist in rearranging them. Don't forget the three digit security code on the back and the expiration date. Also, since we're best friend now I'll need your bithdate so I can send a card. That's what friends are for.

Carla said...

Yeah. Whatevs.

Git yer own blog, woman!!