Spa Me
I have 4 children. That should pretty much cover it but you asked for close to 600 words, so I'll continue. I stay home with my children. I am a professional momma and it is with the very best of intentions that I am here for them. My children need me. I wouldn't trade my job for anything! Seeing those first steps, hearing those first words, digging catfood, sand and Legos out of tiny mouths. Priceless.
Working hard is hard work and I am low woman on the totem pole around here. My needs, wants, desires and aspirations have been flushed down the toilet like the Cheerios used to potty train my 3 year old. With each cherub I have let go of more and more ME. I haven't been to the bathroom alone in years. In fact, the word alone has been banished. Bad word. Bad.
Here is a snapshot of me. My hair is securely tied up in a momtail, with dark roots for all the world to see. The longest I have gone without showering is 3 days. I only shave the parts of my body that will show. I have a farmer tan, age spots, scars, stretch marks, wrinkles, moles and I just discovered some gray hairs. I will politely ignore them in an effort to hurt their feelings. Maybe they will pack up and move on. I wear whatever smells cleanish off of the floor and sprint into the day. I am not even going to discuss the Week of the Slug which rolls around once a month. I rarely even get to make that Universal Mascara Applying Face. There is no misting, purifying, enriching, scenting, dusting or exfoliating going on around here. I do believe my cat is doing a better job at grooming. Lately, I do not even feel like a woman. I certainly am not a man but I hardly look or feel feminine. I am so glad that Shania Twain feels like a woman. I am thrilled for her. Really. She must not have 4 children.
Mothering can be a thankless job fraught with short people trying to steal whatever shred of self-esteem you have left. My daughter has left me with gems like this.
"Mom, your breath smells. Your eyes look all bloody. Did you toot? Your bum is so big. Your teeth are so yellow." Nope-not feeling lovely at all. Unlovely. That's me.
A friend once said to me that the best makeup tip she ever recieved was smile. Wow. With my yellow teeth I should smile and then apologize for doing so.
WYSIWYG-What You See Is What You Get. A mom. A loving mom. A loving , hairy, makeupless mom that smells.
What has happened to me? Where did I go? Where are the possibilities? I suppose I could keep fantasizing and saving for that head transplant(talk about Extreme Makeover!)or I could win this contest and get just a taste of self-care, self-indulgence and the all important Femtime!
If I do not win I am afraid I will die. You see I've just been diagnosed by my daughter with a fatal case of the uglies. My life hangs in the balance. It's up to you.
Working hard is hard work and I am low woman on the totem pole around here. My needs, wants, desires and aspirations have been flushed down the toilet like the Cheerios used to potty train my 3 year old. With each cherub I have let go of more and more ME. I haven't been to the bathroom alone in years. In fact, the word alone has been banished. Bad word. Bad.
Here is a snapshot of me. My hair is securely tied up in a momtail, with dark roots for all the world to see. The longest I have gone without showering is 3 days. I only shave the parts of my body that will show. I have a farmer tan, age spots, scars, stretch marks, wrinkles, moles and I just discovered some gray hairs. I will politely ignore them in an effort to hurt their feelings. Maybe they will pack up and move on. I wear whatever smells cleanish off of the floor and sprint into the day. I am not even going to discuss the Week of the Slug which rolls around once a month. I rarely even get to make that Universal Mascara Applying Face. There is no misting, purifying, enriching, scenting, dusting or exfoliating going on around here. I do believe my cat is doing a better job at grooming. Lately, I do not even feel like a woman. I certainly am not a man but I hardly look or feel feminine. I am so glad that Shania Twain feels like a woman. I am thrilled for her. Really. She must not have 4 children.
Mothering can be a thankless job fraught with short people trying to steal whatever shred of self-esteem you have left. My daughter has left me with gems like this.
"Mom, your breath smells. Your eyes look all bloody. Did you toot? Your bum is so big. Your teeth are so yellow." Nope-not feeling lovely at all. Unlovely. That's me.
A friend once said to me that the best makeup tip she ever recieved was smile. Wow. With my yellow teeth I should smile and then apologize for doing so.
WYSIWYG-What You See Is What You Get. A mom. A loving mom. A loving , hairy, makeupless mom that smells.
What has happened to me? Where did I go? Where are the possibilities? I suppose I could keep fantasizing and saving for that head transplant(talk about Extreme Makeover!)or I could win this contest and get just a taste of self-care, self-indulgence and the all important Femtime!
If I do not win I am afraid I will die. You see I've just been diagnosed by my daughter with a fatal case of the uglies. My life hangs in the balance. It's up to you.
Please spa me!
4 comments:
Hooray for Carla! You win.
Swampy's challenge:
I think that both Jen and Carla need 'Spa Days'. I will pledge $10 for each of them and child care on whatever they end up making their 'Spa-Day'. Can I get an 'amen'?
Amen!
A loving, hairy, make-up-less mom that smells! HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, well, I hear ya, sister. I might not be quite as honest as you are, but I feel ya. ;-)
I'm in for ten--amen!
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