Reported 7

Although the case was closed there are some lingering side effects. When and if I ever apply for a teaching job I might be asked if I have ever been investigated by CPS. I must say yes and whip out the letter. uggghhhhh I have prayed for my own heart. I have worked through my feelings. The fear(maybe terror)that all of this caused. I have journaled and talked through it all. Evert heart pounding, hands shaking, trying to breathe moment. My husband and I have discussed the emotions that my writing has stirred up in us. I have praised Him again and again for sustaining us through our friends! It was an "in the valley" experience and now I know. I know what it's like to be on the other side of Social Services. As a teacher I was a mandated reporter. I had to call CPS quite a few times as I taught my beloved students. There were bruises!! They never did anything. The irony of that is not lost on me.

One of the reasons I wrote this is because I used to read a lot of momblogs. I overhear young moms talking. I have noticed a lot of people have this advice for someone, "Oh, I would call CPS on this or that." I get a sick feeling whenever I read or hear that. Yes, it is warranted when a child is in danger and their basic needs are not met. Unfortunately, it is not against the law to swear at or yell at a child.

I am tossing this out-what if we all tried to reach out and get to know each other a little better? What if we showed someone else we care about what happens to them and their children? Invited them in, invited them over? What if someone had come to me with their concerns about my Timbug?? What if a hard conversation was had over coffee? What if the truth in love had been spoken to me? Could this nightmare have been avoided? I believe so.

We prayed that our family would be protected, that we would be found innocent, that the allegations would be found baseless and the truth would be proclaimed. God heard and answered every.single.prayer. He always does. Amen and Amen.

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life, from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again. Psalm 71:20

Deep, cleansing breath. So, good then. Done. Writing is so very cathartic isn’t it?

Your homework-

1. Use “unsubstantiated” in a sentence today.

2. Remember that for every 2 ounces of water you add 1 scoop of formula.

Reported 6

September 11, 2006

Dear Pat and Carla,

This letter is to inform you of the outcome of the child protection

investigation recently conducted regarding your child, Timothy.

Your case will be found unsubstantiated for neglect. After consultation

with my supervisor, it has been determined your case will be closed.
 
Please feel free to contact me if you have any

 
questions.

Sincerely,

Joe Social Worker

Reported 5

As moms know when you wean your babe from nursing and introduce formula and food they tend to gain weight. Duhhh. Timmers sucked down bottle after bottle, as did the 3 Streamers before him. I was pretty sure that would please all of our new Social Services friends. We were advised to take our boy to our doctor to have him weighed. He gave us the same incredulous "WHAT?! WHY?! HOW?!" reaction that everyone else had. Dr. Z weighed our bug and pronounced Timothy happy, healthy and FINE. Joe Social Worker would hear from him. My days were spent doing what I do. Feeding, burping, changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, praying, laughing, reading, bathing, playing with Four by 40. Patrick kept in touch with Joe on a daily basis. He was happy to hear Joe say to please ask our friends to stop calling now. Apparently when you have a supportive and loving family of faith who care, they rally around you when you shout HELP US PLEASE!! Rally they did. Joe Social Worker was smothered in phone calls and messages. He said he received 50-60 in one day. YAY! Again and again people said how ridiculous, absurd, and brainless the charges were. Neglect? No way! BUT we still had to wait it all out and Timothy had another date with the nurse. Weighed and measured again. He had gained a pound. Happy now? Go away! Toward the end of the 90 days we were told to take him in again to our doctor. To have him weighed. I think they should have paid for it. We forked over $300 to weigh Timmers twice! Dr. Z just shook his head, wrote his report and said he would call Joe and say the same thing. Nothing to investigate, nothing to find. Nothing. We were waiting for Joe's supervisor to sign off on the investigation. Sign off as in no further info needed, no more visits or weigh ins, no more invasion of our lives. Close the case! Close the case! Close the case! 

Reported 4

The county health nurse, her assistant and Joe Social Worker came over within 2 days to weigh and measure Timothy. I had to pray long and hard that God would hold my tongue. I didn't want to sabotage anything but I knew I would be treated like an idiot. I was right. Patrick came home to me. The other 3 healthy and growing Stream children who survived infancy with me, watched a movie. Joe didn't say much. The nurse weighed and measured my lovebug and got out her charts to show where he was on it. My sweet Timmers laughed and smiled throughout the whole thing and showed off his timples. The nurse started asking me all of these questions. How much does he eat? What does he eat? Does he nurse? How often? What about formula? How much? ON and ON she went. I answered and then bit my tongue. She then started the instructional part of her visit. "Do you know that for every 2 ounces of water you add 1 scoop of formula?" I was shaking at this point. OH MY STARS! I almost lost it. My husband and I are college educated, we do not smoke or drink, we have been faithfully committed to each other, we love our children, this is our 4th child. LOOK AROUND THIS HOUSE, WOMAN!! Do you see anything but pictures of children, sticker charts, and cherub drawings? GO AWAY! Still shaking I completely shut down. I quit talking. I was done. Patrick knew it. He put his hand on my arm and asked them if there was anything else. Yes, there was. In another week they would come back and weigh our boy again. He needed to gain weight to show that we were not starving our Timbug.

 

Reported 3

My husband called the social worker.(Henceforth the social worker shall be called Joe)Patrick spoke for the both of us and let Joe Social Worker know that my experience with him was terrifying. Patrick also told Joe that we would work with him. What did he want us to do? How could we speed up this process? Would he accept calls on our behalf?

Patrick and I tried to digest all of the information we were given. Tried to process through all of our thoughts and emotions and fears. This totally, completely sucked! That was my number one thought! My ultimate FEAR was that someone would take away my children, but that was completely irrational! I hadn't done anything to warrant it! We had to settle down. We had to pray, calm our faces and parent our Streamers through this. We prayed together that our family would be protected, that we would be found innocent, that the allegations would be found baseless and THE TRUTH would be proclaimed. I prayed for peace and calm in my heart. Even though I was living some kind of routine panic with a racing heart always trying to catch my breath. My husband got on the horn and called out the troops. We reached out to all of the social worker friends we knew. We called all of our friends and our pastors from the family of Faith. Would they be willing to vouch for the Stream family? Everyone we knew had the same reaction. They sucked in their breath and yelled, "WHAT??! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!"

The deed was done. The call was made, the report written up from anonymouscaller, the allegations foisted on us and our lives were now in a 90 day holding pattern to clear our name.

 

Reported 2

I couldn't breathe. I could hardly speak. I felt faint and like I was going to throw up. My heart pounded out of my chest. I told him to come in. I needed to finish feeding this supposed low weight baby we lovingly called "Timmers." I didn't want it to look like I was hiding anything but, word to the wise DO NOT let a social worker come in. Ask them to wait in their car until you can call someone to come over. A supportive friend, or your husband. The social worker asked a ton of questions that really had nothing to do with my boy. Again, you DO NOT have to babble on like I did thinking you are "helping." Tell them to stick to the allegations. He stayed an hour, looking me up and down, all of my children, my home, my life. All under his scrutiny now. I called Patrick after he left in near hysterics. I couldn't stop crying. Shock? Probably. Deep down I knew it was all crap. The allegation was that I was NOT FEEDING my son!! WHAT??!! That I was withholding food from him or not feeding him enough. Starving my buglet???!!! Absurd! I wanted to scream long and loud about THE SYSTEM. We were now in the Social Services System. We had a case. We had a case number. We had a case worker. Once a can of worms like this opens up there is a 90 day period where they drop by unannounced to do more interviews, bring in the county health nurse to WEIGH the baby and EDUCATE us imbeciles and gather more information. I felt totally and completely blindsided. 

Reported

What I am about to write happened in 2006. It would seem to be every mommies worst nightmare. And so it was for me as well.

Timothy had just turned 6 months old and those choppers were coming in. Ouch! I was trying to wean him from nursing so I was using formula once or twice a day and also working on rice cereal, cheerios and all of that good, messy stuff. Summer was going along and we spent our days swimming in the backyard and playing at a nearby park. Timmers was happy and adorable. He had his Daddy’s dimples. Timples. Having four by 40 was something else indeed!! Oooofffffffff. Four cherubs under the age of 8!! At 4:00pm on a sunny summer Monday afternoon the doorbell rang. A rather serious looking man was standing there. He introduced himself. He told me he was a social worker and he came to investigate a call they had received about a low weight baby in our home.

I couldn't breathe. I could hardly speak. I felt faint and like I was going to throw up. My heart pounded out of my chest. I told him to come in. I needed to finish feeding this supposed low weight baby we lovingly called "Timmers." I didn't want it to look like I was hiding anything but, word to the wise DO NOT let a social worker come in. Ask them to wait in their car until you can call someone to come over. A supportive friend, or your husband. The social worker asked a ton of questions that really had nothing to do with my boy. Again, you DO NOT have to babble on like I did thinking you are "helping." Tell them to stick to the allegations. He stayed an hour, looking me up and down, all of my children, my home, my life. All under his scrutiny now. I called Patrick after he left in near hysterics. I couldn't stop crying. Shock? Probably. Deep down I knew it was all crap. The allegation was that I was NOT FEEDING my son!! WHAT??!! That I was withholding food from him or not feeding him enough. Starving my buglet???!!! Absurd! I wanted to scream long and loud about THE SYSTEM. We were now in the Social Services System. We had a case. We had a case number. We had a case worker. Once a can of worms like this opens up there is a 90 day period where they drop by unannounced to do more interviews, bring in the county health nurse to WEIGH the baby and EDUCATE us imbeciles and gather more information. I felt totally and completely blindsided.