The following letter is written with much love to my daughter Aubrey who died 18 years ago today by my "choice" of abortion.
Dearest Aubrey,
You are my baby girl. I love you more than I can say. My heart aches to be with you. The longing I feel for you seems to grow stronger with each passing year. I miss you, my darling daughter. I think of you so much of the time. I talk about you to all that will listen. You are part of me and part of my family. Someday sweet girl, we will be together. I will hold you in heaven. I will be healed. I can scarcely type out the depth of my feelings for you. I want to shout from the rooftops that you lived! That you matter! I will never stop cherishing your place in my life and honoring your memory in every way possible.
I love you so much!
Mommy
25 comments:
Oh my sweet friend. I will listen to the Aubrey story as many times as you want to tell it to me. I love you and would love to hold your girlie bug in heaven.
((HUGS))
Bawling here, Carla. I remember your posts about your abortion-- some of the most powerful stuff I've ever read. I know that one day you'll be reunited with her. God loves you both. Thanks for sharing your story with us-- I'll never forget it.
Beautiful, beautiful post.
Oh lady. Your comment on the Annex today makes perfect sense to me now. God's timing is so unbelievably perfect. I'm hoping that little bit on grief gave you some validation and encouragement on this difficult day. You're so right, we grieve because we love. Thank God for your feeling heart, your ability to express emotion over so much loss. Without that pain, there would be much emptiness.
Peace to you,
Heather
I love you, Carla, and your sweet baby Aubrey. I echo Kristi in saying that I will listen as many times as you want to tell it.
Hi again,
YES, we're neighbors! I'm in St Paul! I love it when I accidentally find neighbors in the blogosphere! Nice to meet you,
Heather
I love you Carla! Your sweet child Aubrey will always be remembered and loved!
Carla,
....thinking about you...
Kari
(yeah...as in Kari :) Never been here before, but I think you'll remember me. :)
I'll listen, too.
I love you, friend.
Thinking of you and praying.
Just read your story... I really don't even know what to say except that you have my prayers and my respect for coming forward with this..
I love you! Thank you!
I called our local Pregnancy Care Center to volunteer in honor of my daughter. Oh, and I ate a whole bag of Peanut Butter M & M's.
Carla, I love you.
You ate the whole bag??? I'm glad I got some first.
The Boyz helped some. Shhhhh...
Someday, Carla. But I think your work will heal you more than you can imagine.
butrfly friend,
I guess I look at healing as coming in layers and the more I do to help others the more healing I receive. Completely healed when I hold my girl.
Now get married why dontcha?? :)
Carla -- I had read your letter to Aubrey when I first started reading your blog, but today Half Past Kissin' Time put a link to your whole abortion story on her post, so I've read it all now, and you have my total admiration. To face your feelings so squarely and to share your experience with others is wonderful, and I do believe cathartic for you. God's unconditional love really is the ultimate healing medicine, isn't it.
I'm so glad I found you.
I just read through your whole story. You are a wonderful writer, but that's beside the point.
Thank you so very much for sharing this story. It makes me hurt for the many many girls who were raised the way you were and have gone through some of the same horrible experiences you have. It makes me feel less judgmental toward those who have chosen to have an abortion. Thank you so much for doing all you can to help those poor girls realize that they can make a better choice.
I was just referred to your post on another blog. How heart wrenching.
My best friend had an abortion when we were 20. I remember her crying and crying afterward. I remember the depression she went thru and the counseling. When I got pregnant a year later, she told me to get an abortion and got mad when I wouldn't. I could not believe it because I remember all the hell she went thru afterward and was still going thru. Looking back on it, she probably wanting me too, so that way it would feel more right to her. I'm glad it wasn't a few years earlier because I did believe in abortion then.
Thank you for this look into your life, one that many people might hide. When we can admit our wrongs and ask for forgiveness, we will be forgiven. I know the Lord has forgiven you and thank you for educating others.
I don't even know you and I just found your blog, but this series has me in tears. I read each post - every word.
Bless you!
Carla, how did you know it was a girl?
I prayed that God would impress upon my heart the sex of each child lost through abortion and miscarriage. My daughter is Aubrey, son Jamie and one more son, Lee. :)
Three have been lost from you? So sorry Carla, but I'm guessing that has helped make you the person you are today. Strong and compassionate....
God Bless You! It's a good thing His Gracious love for us is never ending. I will.always think of you and your Aubrey. I can't wait to meet you both on the day we're all resting at Home!
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