Oh, my heart.
At times the weekend was excruciating. Hearing other women's stories of their abortions and miscarriages is never easy. At times I wanted to leave. Pack up and run away from some very horrifying stories. Yet, these women have been healing and trusting God and are reaching out to me. Amazing Grace. We laughed until we cried and cried until we laughed. God met me there. I learned things about myself that I did not know and realized that my abortion is part of my story, but does not define me. It is something I have done, not who I am.
Yesterday there was a memorial service. A funeral. I wrote letters to my 3 babies. Aubrey was the baby girl I aborted. Jamie and Lee were my little boys lost to miscarriage.
Man, I am having a hard time typing this. This grieving mommy is spent. How many tears can one cry?
We had been given little dollies to symbolize them, I read their letters and placed each one in a cradle and dedicated them to God. I signed their Certificates of Life, as they live now with Jesus, I received a rose, three candles and three little angels.
Aubrey would be 17. Jamie would be 12. Lee would be 6. They are safe and waiting for me. I miss them and love them and will honor the memory of their short lives.
10 comments:
Oh so beautiful.
Someday we will meet your heavencherubs and we will all be family.
Glad you went, glad you're back!
So glad you could be a part of this. I'm sorry for all of the pain you have experienced, but am so thankful you are choosing to share your story. You are honoring God and your babies. Love you!
I can't even begin to imagine how you are dealing with this.
I do know the feeling of "how many tears can one cry?"
Praying for you, my friend. Thank you for sharing this with us, and hopefully, helping others to heal those hurts too.
Thanks for sharing this, Carla. I am proud of you and love you!
Very proud of you, too, my friend. So very brave to face into not only your pain, but other's as well. Rest. Heal. We love you!
Mmm... love what you said about it being something you did. That it doesn't define you. SO true, friend... Peace be on you.
I love you.
I know that we don't know each other well, however you have been in my thoughts and prayers. Our God is so good! His love is real. His love breaks chains. His love chages us. His love is so good!! Hang in there. Know and feel His love!
Still you are in my prayers. I think you are very brave.
love, Karla
Ditto, ditto, thank you for turning your pain into help for others.
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