Friday, July 06, 2007
To The Ball
Sarah and I played dress up yesterday. She found a hideous old bridesmaid dress I once wore. And I saved it because....I thought I may have a daughter someday to play dress up with??? Crazy. I bent over to slip into the thang and Sarah said, "Mom, you have a big bum." She said it, just like that, no big deal. Compared to her eensy girly bottom my backside is ginormous! I said what I always say, "I'M WORKING ON IT!" She tried to help me zip up my gown. I could not suck it in and realized that after 17 years and 4 chilluns I just might have a big bum. A thought struck me. If my bum is big then so are my hips, my thighs and my stomach. Indeed. I yelled at the driver of our carriage, fanned myself angrily and realized that no prince would want to dance with a cow like me. I was the crankiest princess at the ball.
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10 comments:
Oh, I think you and your prince are still dancing, it's just a different song now. My prince and I definitely compliment each other. I have the big bum and he's going bald. Such is love...
After I had my last baby, my daughter asked me why I still looked like I was pregnant. Sigh.
The close scrutiny is hard at times!!
Their honest is brutal, isn't it?
And you probably thought your bum was big way back then. ;)
I thought I was kind of a hotty until
Sarah Scrutinizer came on the scene!
Carla, Carla, Carla. Here's some advice from one who has a big boomba.
Big is a relative term.
You should drag your skinny little rumper to a cross stitch convention. You wold think you should be a runway model.
All relative baby.
Your rumper, if I may be so bold, is just fine.
Tell Sarah to hush.
Wait, exactly how hideous is this dress? I think we need a picture...
YOU DO NOT HAVE A BIG BUM. The dress SHRUNK from years of storage. OBVIOUSLY! -- The Queen of Denial
AB,
Yes, I completely forgot about storage shrinkage! DOH!
I'm with Kristi, although, don't go to the cross-stitch festival--go to any water park in America. I garauntee you'll be a hotter hottie than 90% of the people there.
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