Trenches

I am finding it hard to be here. Here in the trenches. I am glad we are all in this together because I would hate to think I am mothering alone. Move out, troops!

Woke up and didn't want to get out of bed this morning. I wanted to lay there all day with the covers over me. I would not make a sound. I would lay motionless the whole day! I wanted to call in sick. I got up. It was upperbody day today. Benchpress, Military press, Dumbbell Rows, the usual. The workout is the easy part. The hard part is working out to the sound of a crying baby. Some days he sleeps in and some days he doesn't. He didn't today. My mind said QUIT! but I started and finished. No shower...I plunged ahead. Nathan was crying in his crib for me to get him, I fed Dim, Sarah was up and beaming as she had a dry night, Joshua bounded up full of words...the usual. Let the bickering begin! I nipped it in the bud. Declared that any fighting soldier from Streams Army would head right back to their room. All was quiet, except for my mind. I was spinning madly with my thoughts. How will I get through this hour, let alone this whole day that stretches endlessly before me? How will I mother these children for at least 20 more years? How? I burst into tears at the last straw. (The last straw being the waffles that WOULD NOT tear at the perforation. Then why in tarnation are they perforated?!) I sobbed at the toaster and called out to the Only One who understands me. Joshua took over and got everyone to their places and said, "I will look for opportunities to help you mom." That made me cry harder at how blessed I am. It wasn't waffles, or workouts or waking up. It was my soul missing my Savior. I moved closer to Him and He held me.

As is custom, I tell the funny tales of life in this household so I will leave you with this.
I asked Nathan who is at the bottom of his bowl.(It's Winnie the Pooh. He eats all of his food just to see the silly ol' bear.) He answered, "God."